δείξω, ὁ δὲ σὺν γέλωτι ἠρώτησεν, Καὶ γὰρ ἄνδρα ἔχεις;
Ἐπεὶ δέ τις ἀθλητὴς καταγελασθεὶς ὑπ᾿16 αὐτοῦ, ὅτι ἐσθῆτα ὤφθη ἀνθινὴν ἀμπεχόμενος Ὀλυμπιονίκης ὤν, ἐπάταξεν αὐτὸν εἰς τὴν κεφαλὴν λίθῳ καὶ αἷμα ἐρρύη, οἱ μὲν παρόντες ἠγανάκτουν ὡς αὐτὸς ἕκαστος τετυπτημένος καὶ ἐβόων πρὸς1 τὸν ἀνθύπατον ἰέναι, ὁ δὲ Δημῶναξ, Μηδαμῶς, ἔφη, ὦ ἄνδρες, πρὸς τὸν ἀνθύπατον, ἀλλ᾿ ἐπὶ τὸν ἰατρόν.
Ἐπεὶ δέ ποτε καὶ χρυσοῦν δακτύλιον ὁδῷ17 βαδίζων εὗρεν, γραμματεῖον ἐν ἀγορᾷ προθεὶς ἠξίου τὸν ἀπολέσαντα, ὅστις εἴη τοῦ δακτυλίου δεσπότης, ἥκειν καὶ εἰπόντα ὁλκὴν αὐτοῦ καὶ λίθον καὶ τύπον ἀπολαμβάνειν· ἧκεν οὖν τις μειρακίσκος ὡραῖος αὐτὸς ἀπολωλεκέναι λέγων. ἐπεὶ δὲ οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς ἔλεγεν, Ἄπιθι, ἔφη, ὦ παῖ, καὶ τὸν ἑαυτοῦ δακτύλιον φύλαττε, τοῦτον γὰρ οὐκ ἀπολώλεκας.
Τῶν δὲ ἀπὸ τῆς Ῥωμαίων βουλῆς τις Ἀθήνησιν18 υἱὸν αὐτῷ δείξας πάνυ ὡραῖον, θηλυδρίαν δὲ καὶ διακεκλασμένον, Προσαγορεύει σε, ἔφη, ὁ ἐμὸς υἱὸς οὑτοσί, καὶ ὁ Δημῶναξ, Καλός, ἔφη, καὶ σοῦ ἄξιος καὶ τῇ μητρὶ ὅμοιος.
Τὸν δὲ Κυνικὸν τὸν2 ἐν ἄρκτου δέρματι φιλοσοφοῦντα19 οὐχ Ὁνωρᾶτον, ὥσπερ ὠνομάζετο, ἀλλ᾿ Ἀρκεσίλαον καλεῖν ἠξίου.
Ἐρωτήσαντος δέ τινος, τίς αὐτῷ ὅρος εὐδαιμονίας εἶναι δοκεῖ, μόνον εὐδαίμονα ἔφη τὸν ἐλεύθερον· ἐκείνου δὲ φήσαντος πολλοὺς ἐλευθέρους εἶναι, Ἀλλ᾿ ἐκεῖνον νομίζω τὸν μήτε ἐλπίζοντά20
whereupon Demonax laughingly inquired: “Oh, you will send for your man, then?”
When an athlete, whom he had ridiculed for letting himself be seen in gay clothes although he was an Olympic champion, struck him on the head with a stone and drew blood, each of the bystanders was as angry as if he himself had been struck, and they shouted “Go to the proconsul!” But Demonax said “No! not to the proconsul—for the doctor!”
Finding a bit of jewelry one day while he was out walking, he posted a notice in the public square asking the one who owned it and had lost it to come and get it by describing the weight of the setting, the stone, and the engravings on it. Well, a pretty girl came to him saying that she had lost it; but as there was nothing right in her description, Demonax said: “Be off, girl, and don’t lose your own jewel: this is none of yours!”
A Roman senator in Athens introduced his son to him, a handsome boy, but girlish and neurasthenic, saying: “My son here pays his respects to you.” “A dear boy,” said Demonax, “worthy of you and like his mother!”
The Cynic who pursued his philosophical studies clad in a bearskin he would not call Honoratus, which was his name, but Ursinus.
When a man asked him what he thought was the definition of happiness, he replied that none but a free man is happy; and when the other said that free men were numerous, he rejoined: “But I have