St. Augustine
1Ante omnia peto, ut cogitet religiosa prudentia tua nihil esse in hac vita et maxime hoc tempore facilius et laetius et hominibus acceptabilius episcopi aut presbyteri aut diaconi officio, si perfunctorie atque adulatorie res agatur, sed nihil apud deum miserius et tristius et damnabilius; item nihil esse in hac vita et maxime hoc tempore difficilius, laboriosius, periculosius episcopi aut presbyteri aut diaconi officio, sed apud deum nihil beatius, si eo modo militetur, quo noster imperator iubet. Quis autem iste sit modus, nec a pueritia nec ab adulescentia mea didici. Et eo tempore, quo discere coeperam, vis mihi facta est merito peccatorum meorum—nam quid aliud existimem nescio,—ut secundus locus gubernaculorum mihi traderetur, qui remum tenere non noveram.
2Sed arbitror dominum meum propterea me sic emendare voluisse, quod multorum peccata nautarum, antequam expertus essem, quid illic agitur, quasi doctior et melior reprehendere audebam. Itaque posteaquam missus sum in medium, tunc
Letters of St. Augustine
First and foremost, I beg your wise Holiness to1 consider that there is nothing in this life, and especially in our own day, more easy and pleasant and acceptable to men than the office of a bishop or priest or deacon, if its duties be discharged in a mechanical and sycophantic way, but nothing more worthless and deplorable and meet for chastisement in the sight of God; and, on the other hand, that there is nothing in this life, and especially in our own day, more difficult, toilsome and hazardous than the office of a bishop or priest or deacon, but nothing more blessed in the sight of God, if our service be in accordance with our Captain’s orders.b But how that is to be done I learned neither in my boyhood nor in my youth, and just as I had begun to learn, I was compelled by reason of my sins to assume the second place at the helm, although I did not know how to hold an oar.
But I imagine that it was my Lord’s intention2 to chastise me because I was bold enough to rebuke many sailors for their faults, as though I were a wiser and a better man, before experience had taught me the nature of their work. So, on being sent into their midst, I then began to realize how
- aValerius was bishop of Hippo when Augustine returned to Africa in 388. By birth a Greek, he had difficulty in preaching in Latin. When Augustine was visiting Hippo in 391, he was forcibly ordained to assist Valerius, and this letter was written soon after the ordination, probably from Tagaste, whither Augustine had no doubt returned to terminate his affairs there. Augustine always speaks of Valerius with great respect and affection. Valerius retired in 396, and Augustine succeeded him.
- b1 Tim. i. 18–19; 2 Tim. ii. 4.