ἀλλ᾿ ἕτερον ἥσθην, ἡνίκ᾿ ἐπὶ μόσχῳ ποτὲ Δεξίθεος εἰσῆλθ᾿ ᾀσόμενος Βοιώτιον. 15τῆτες δ᾿ ἀπέθανον καὶ διεστράφην ἰδών, ὅτε δὴ παρέκυψε Χαῖρις ἐπὶ τὸν ὄρθιον. ἀλλ᾿ οὐδεπώποτ᾿ ἐξ ὅτου ᾿γὼ ῥύπτομαι οὕτως ἐδήχθην ὑπὸ κονίας τὰς ὀφρῦς ὡς νῦν, ὁπότ᾿ οὔσης κυρίας ἐκκλησίας 20ἑωθινῆς ἔρημος ἡ πνὺξ αὑτηί, οἱ δ᾿ ἐν ἀγορᾷ λαλοῦσι κἄνω καὶ κάτω τὸ σχοινίον φεύγουσι τὸ μεμιλτωμένον. οὐδ᾿ οἱ πρυτάνεις ἥκουσιν, ἀλλ᾿ ἀωρίαν ἥκοντες, εἶτα δ᾿ ὠστιοῦνται πῶς δοκεῖς 25ἐλθόντες ἀλλήλοισι περὶ πρώτου ξύλου, ἁθρόοι καταρρέοντες· εἰρήνη δ᾿ ὅπως ἔσται προτιμῶσ᾿ οὐδέν· ὦ πόλις πόλις. ἐγὼ δ᾿ ἀεὶ πρώτιστος εἰς ἐκκλησίαν νοστῶν κάθημαι· κᾆτ᾿ ἐπειδὰν ὦ μόνος, 30στένω, κέχηνα, σκορδινῶμαι, πέρδομαι, ἀπορῶ, γράφω, παρατίλλομαι, λογίζομαι, ἀποβλέπων εἰς τὸν ἀγρόν, εἰρήνης ἐρῶν, στυγῶν μὲν ἄστυ, τὸν δ᾿ ἐμὸν δῆμον ποθῶν, ὃς οὐδεπώποτ᾿ εἶπεν· “ἄνθρακας πρίω”, 35οὐκ ὄξος, οὐκ ἔλαιον, οὐδ᾿ ᾔδει πρίω, ἀλλ᾿ αὐτὸς ἔφερε πάντα χὠ πρίων ἀπῆν. νῦν οὖν ἀτεχνῶς ἥκω παρεσκευασμένος βοᾶν, ὑποκρούειν, λοιδορεῖν τοὺς ῥήτορας, ἐάν τις ἄλλο πλὴν περὶ εἰρήνης λέγῃ.
But I had another delight, when “Once Upon A Calf” 5 Dexitheus 6 came on to sing Boeotian-style. But just this year I died on the rack when I saw Chaeris 7 creeping on to play the Orthian tune. But never since my first bath have my brows been as soap stung as they are now, when the Assembly’s scheduled for a regular dawn meeting, and here’s an empty Pnyx: everybody’s gossiping in the market as up and down they dodge the ruddled rope. 8 The Presidents aren’t even here. No, they’ll>come late, and when they do you can’t imagine how they’ll>shove each other for the front row, streaming down en masse. But they don’t care at all about making peace. O city, city! I am always the very first to come to Assembly and take my seat. Then, in my solitude, I sigh, I yawn, I stretch myself, I fart, I fiddle, scribble, pluck my beard, do sums, while I gaze off to the countryside and pine for peace, loathing the city and yearning for my own deme, that never cried “buy coal,” “buy vinegar,” “buy oil”; it didn’t know the word “buy”; no, it produced everything itself, and the Buy Man was out of sight. So now I’m here, all>set to shout, interrupt, revile the speakers, if anyone speaks of anything except peace.Two Presidents, the herald, some Archer Police, and Assemblymen enter through the parodoi and mount the stage.
- 5Or (less likely) “after Moschus,” taking moschos (calf) as a proper name.
- 6A lyre player known to have won a musical>contest at the Pythian games.
- 7A lyre player and piper often ridiculed in comedy for poor technique.
- 8Citizens marked with the dye, as being late to enter or leave the Assembly, were liable to a fine.