Aristophanes, Acharnians

LCL 178: 58-59

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Aristophanes

ἀλλ᾿ ἕτερον ἥσθην, ἡνίκ᾿ ἐπὶ μόσχῳ ποτὲ Δεξίθεος εἰσῆλθ᾿ ᾀσόμενος Βοιώτιον. 15τῆτες δ᾿ ἀπέθανον καὶ διεστράφην ἰδών, ὅτε δὴ παρέκυψε Χαῖρις ἐπὶ τὸν ὄρθιον. ἀλλ᾿ οὐδεπώποτ᾿ ἐξ ὅτου ᾿γὼ ῥύπτομαι οὕτως ἐδήχθην ὑπὸ κονίας τὰς ὀφρῦς ὡς νῦν, ὁπότ᾿ οὔσης κυρίας ἐκκλησίας 20ἑωθινῆς ἔρημος ἡ πνὺξ αὑτηί, οἱ δ᾿ ἐν ἀγορᾷ λαλοῦσι κἄνω καὶ κάτω τὸ σχοινίον φεύγουσι τὸ μεμιλτωμένον. οὐδ᾿ οἱ πρυτάνεις ἥκουσιν, ἀλλ᾿ ἀωρίαν ἥκοντες, εἶτα δ᾿ ὠστιοῦνται πῶς δοκεῖς 25ἐλθόντες ἀλλήλοισι περὶ πρώτου ξύλου, ἁθρόοι καταρρέοντες· εἰρήνη δ᾿ ὅπως ἔσται προτιμῶσ᾿ οὐδέν· ὦ πόλις πόλις. ἐγὼ δ᾿ ἀεὶ πρώτιστος εἰς ἐκκλησίαν νοστῶν κάθημαι· κᾆτ᾿ ἐπειδὰν ὦ μόνος, 30στένω, κέχηνα, σκορδινῶμαι, πέρδομαι, ἀπορῶ, γράφω, παρατίλλομαι, λογίζομαι, ἀποβλέπων εἰς τὸν ἀγρόν, εἰρήνης ἐρῶν, στυγῶν μὲν ἄστυ, τὸν δ᾿ ἐμὸν δῆμον ποθῶν, ὃς οὐδεπώποτ᾿ εἶπεν· “ἄνθρακας πρίω”, 35οὐκ ὄξος, οὐκ ἔλαιον, οὐδ᾿ ᾔδει πρίω, ἀλλ᾿ αὐτὸς ἔφερε πάντα χὠ πρίων ἀπῆν. νῦν οὖν ἀτεχνῶς ἥκω παρεσκευασμένος βοᾶν, ὑποκρούειν, λοιδορεῖν τοὺς ῥήτορας, ἐάν τις ἄλλο πλὴν περὶ εἰρήνης λέγῃ.

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Acharnians

But I had another delight, when “Once Upon A Calf” 5 Dexitheus 6 came on to sing Boeotian-style. But just this year I died on the rack when I saw Chaeris 7 creeping on to play the Orthian tune. But never since my first bath have my brows been as soap stung as they are now, when the Assembly’s scheduled for a regular dawn meeting, and here’s an empty Pnyx: everybody’s gossiping in the market as up and down they dodge the ruddled rope. 8 The Presidents aren’t even here. No, they’ll>come late, and when they do you can’t imagine how they’ll>shove each other for the front row, streaming down en masse. But they don’t care at all about making peace. O city, city! I am always the very first to come to Assembly and take my seat. Then, in my solitude, I sigh, I yawn, I stretch myself, I fart, I fiddle, scribble, pluck my beard, do sums, while I gaze off to the countryside and pine for peace, loathing the city and yearning for my own deme, that never cried “buy coal,” “buy vinegar,” “buy oil”; it didn’t know the word “buy”; no, it produced everything itself, and the Buy Man was out of sight. So now I’m here, all>set to shout, interrupt, revile the speakers, if anyone speaks of anything except peace.

Two Presidents, the herald, some Archer Police, and Assemblymen enter through the parodoi and mount the stage.
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DOI: 10.4159/DLCL.aristophanes-acharnians.1998